Learning...Finding and communicating the good

I was going to let this topic lie after the interesting goings on of the past few days, but perhaps it's not quite ready to be left alone just yet.

I've not long been out of bed after working a night shift and, as I do, fired up the T.V while I had "breakfast".

When I breakfast, I usually watch the news before getting into the day, but at this hour the choices are Oprah or something similar. Not a regular thing, but if something catches my interest, I'll watch.

Now keep in mind, I didn't follow this story closely when it was news. I had an idea what it was about and that was all, and I didn't see the whole interview, so I may be short on info, so apologies if I miss something important.

I turned on about half way through her interviewing the Dixie Chicks about their new movie "Shut Up & Sing" and particularly about the comments Natalie made about their opposition to of the war in Iraq and her opinion about Bush. I agree with her, but this is not about the war or Bush.

This post is about a couple of things directly related to the recent posts and comments.

First, that Natalie has the guts to not back down while voicing an opinion. She is to be applauded, and I'm not talking about the subject matter, it's about being true to your beliefs.

I respect this trait in anyone who does so.

But, it's also about the fact that she is dealing with it at an adult and mature level and seems to have learned that "gobbing" off and expressing an opinion clearly and with appropriate emotion is probably a better way to go.

I think you've got to see how someone else deals with one of those situations at the higher end of the scale in order to be able to learn that the way you deal with things yourself could be improved. I'm starting to get that I think.

Second, that free speech, anywhere in the world can be preached, but in reality, is not practised. In this case it was in the U.S. (although the comments were made in the U.K) and to an extent that took it way beyond what it should have been. After all, it was an opinion expressed publicly and was entitled to be said, no matter where in the world she happened to be at the time.

I hold very strong views about certain things. No need to see it here, other posts tell the story.

That's just the way it is. No big deal. Disagree with it, I don't have a problem with that.

Now I know for a fact that Oprah is religious and that she is an American (No really !).
Despite these 2 things, here is an amazing woman in the grandest sense of the word.

Where she has come from, what she has done and is doing to help others is inspirational and I have the greatest respect for her and will continue to.

I don't know about the religious bent of Natalie, but again, she's American. (Again, no shit Sherlock !!)

She deserves respect for her convictions and the way she has carried herself through what must have been very difficult times.

Despite my very strong views, I don't generalise.

That's just ignorant, but know too, that when ANY group of people exhibit excessive religious zeal, claim one thing and do another or just take themselves too seriously I'll express an opinion if I choose, perhaps in a less venomous way. (thank you to someone who has allowed me to see, through their input, just how inappropriate, embarrassing and demeaning that can be)
But it just so happens, perhaps because there are more of them, that Americans tend to exhibit this behaviour more than other cultures.

But not all, as Natalie and Oprah so wonderfully demonstrate.

My point is this.

Religious Americans do good and have good traits. Religious Australians and other cultures have good traits too, but I can still despise them too if I choose. My mother was religious, and over a period of time in my younger days, I exhibited the same venom towards her; but no more. One moves on!

I have learned in recent years, and more recently through this blog that I need to move on and away from the extreme views. I will still hold those views, and will be passionate about them but not to give them so much life of their own that they consume me and colour my daily behaviour.

Thanks to all of the above for this lesson. Good has come from what could have been viewed as unpleasant. And isn't that what blogging is all about?

Why Differing Opinions Are Interesting

I recently discovered blogging and find it fascinating as many of us do.

I don't expect to receive comments on my blogging, (there are far too many blogs in existence for mine to pop up on a search...but you never know) but just expressing opinions in text for with the likelihood of others reading it and finding some interest (or not), and perhaps communicating their own opinions and ideas can be very cathartic and also educational.

I have to remark though, on one blog that I happened on when I searched this site.

I found this person who at first, after reading one of her posts thought may be nice to reply.

Her response to this post was very nice, but it had an edge and I didn't think more about it, but then I found other posts she made which I disagreed with, and posted comments.
Just opinions and points of view. Nothing nasty. Communication with another person I thought.

I tried to express my opinion clearly and with some emotion, while trying to at least appreciate that everyone is entitled to an opinion, regardless of whether everyone else agrees or not.

The responses I got were , to say the least, firey and vitriolic with no understanding of anothers point of view. In fact in some sentences, the point was missed totally. She gave the impression that she had read it once, reacting as she went and then fired back a comment.

Personally, I would have thought re-reading and understanding what had been written and where the author was coming from and then producing a comment which should also be proof read.

You can tell the difference you know. The huge lack of consideration for various views is very obvious.

Now you don't have to comment with total sweetness & light, I'm not thin skinned and naive enough for that, but a mature and informative reply expressing your views is very little to ask. We all have a right to respond the way we feel is right, but we all have to accept the consequences for the impressions we present to others. (See "Euthanasia and of course...I'll rant on other stuff")

The other interesting thing was that I was unable to find my comments linked to the original subject for others to form an opinion or view both side-by-side. That seemed like an extraordinarily narrow view for someone who claims the high religious ground.

Perhaps my inexperience in blogs has not allowed me to find them yet.

This is the basis of her anger and attitude I suspect, but I could be wrong.

I don't like organised religion, in fact I hate it, but accept at least that others do not and they are entitled to an opinion as long as they don't force it down my throat. How others choose to react to having religion forced on them is there business. I will usually respectfully suggest that I don't want to know about it, then I will attack endlessly with no remorse.

I won't go on about religion except to say that people like her have a tendency to re-enforce my view rather than foster interest.

Having said that, not all people involved in religion are paedophiles and criminals, some with very strong views about religion do enormous amounts of good, it's just that this person is not one of them. (Or at least I'd be surprised.)

Feel sorry for this person. I for one will not waste my time trying to exchange views at the red-neck level. She's not worth the trouble.

Americans are not my favourite people, I have had first hand experience, and their president does them no favours, but I mustn't generalise about anything, there are good and bad in absolutely everything, this person however re-enforces this viewpoint also.

Enjoy and celebrate differing opinions. Just be prepared to accept anothers opinion that you're an idiot if you express them in a way that presents you that way.

I will !

Euthanasia and of course...I'll rant on other stuff

I thought that I wasn't able to access the Internet last night because a known problem with our telephone service. As it turns out I forgot to plug the phone socket back in after the phone company asked me to do some tests.....DUH !!

Anyway. I decided to watch some TV for a change, and the only thing that wasn't mindless U.S dross was an Aussie documentary about 3 people who are dying of various things (mostly cancer) who are fighting for the right to end their lives with dignity.

The show was called Storyline Australia - Do Not Resusitate and it outlined the struggle these people are having in having common sense applied to their own lives, or in this case, death.

As Steven said, it's our own lives that are the issue here and it's others who make the decisions on whether we are able to die peacefully or suffer to the very end.
He also talked about an old dog he had which the vet quite happily gave a needle to in order to alleviate it's pain.

If we do it to be kind to animals because groups of people say so (RSPCA (excellent organisation) & Animal Rights activists (please...common-sense should apply here), why can't the same logic be applied with human beings.

This attitude, to me, suggests that animals need to be treated better than humans. Look out, here comes the other stuff !!!

The older I get, the more I realise that sensible attitudes, strong laws and basic common sense have all gone out the window.

We are all about catering to the minorities in the world and catering to religious bullshit that has totally fucked up the world. (Let's not get me started on religion !!!).

We all have to be considerate of the people we live on this planet no doubt, up to the point where they either refuse to do the same, or to where we take it too far.

There are so many examples of over-regulation stamping on common sense and it should stop.

My belief is that everyone has rights. It's basic. But if you expect to have rights, you must also accept responsibility for your own actions. If you refuse responsibility your rights no longer apply.

Of course, people, in some instances, are a product of their environment and upbringing and there's no doubt that it's hard, but please let's not blame everything else except our own ability to be aware of what we are doing.

There are plenty of people in the world who have had horrendous existences and have triumphed, and no, not everyone can do that, but everyone, except perhaps those with a proven uncontrollable illness, mental or otherwise have the ability to at least know when what they are doing is wrong at a common sense level and act accordingly.

The reason we are starting to take up the litigious attitude to everything is because, politicians and lawyers are allowing the world to say "It wasn't my fault" or "It upset me so that I can't (insert whatever you want to avoid doing) and I just can't function".

Toughen up for fucks sake. Grow a back-bone and for politicians and religious "leaders" (because so many are hypocritical paedophiles according to the press it seems), realise that if someone is in pain, or has formed the opinion early on that they want to choose to end their life on their own terms, THEN LET THEM.

Facilitate safe and common-sense approaches to the problem instead of exercising your egos and medieval dogma just so that you can seen to be something you're really not, or to make money or to make you feel good or what-ever other fucked up reason you have.

Another Way of Looking At Happenings

I received an email just now from a close friend who is going through some tough times with her husband at the moment.

I read this e-mail to the background noise of 2 grand-daughters, being chased around the house by a proud grand-mother (my wife).

I peered into the room and saw my daughter smiling proudly at the 3 of them and then she looked at me and continued to smile.

And then I considered how I respond to everything in life and the effects that it has on others.

This is the content of the e-mail

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE CAR PARK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE PILE OF WASHING AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD OR EXERCISING TO STAY FIT.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND

FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. I JUST DID.

The moment caused me to look at the way people think, or have been programmed to think and respond to various events that happen in their lives, and I came to the conclusion (not the first to do this no doubt) that things will happen to us, both good and bad. Some are really good and some are really bad, but no matter what, they will happen.

We can influence what happens in our life, but we can't avoid them...at least not until we die; and even then....who knows.

The key to being able to live and experience a good life is not "things", "religion", being right", "being the best", "what I want" or any other type of thing you feel is the most important to you, but, in my opinion, it comes from the ability to respond to anything we experience in a realistic way.

To try and avoid as best we can, the negative filters that we place on everything (called life experiences) and not be so ready to call them the be all and end all of our perceptions.

There is always more than one way to look at things, and by considering another viewpoint, it makes it possible to enhance our experiences. This can in turn make our response to them quite different from what they would have otherwise been.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these positive attitude people. I am still, a grumpy individual who has a tendency to react to events in the wrong way, has a bad attitude to many things and must be a RIGHT ROYAL PAIN IN THE ARSE to my family, and to a lesser extent my workmates but I am realising as I age, that this is not and never has been the way to go in life and hopefully, I can turn around everything I have been to make others lives more pleasant on a moment by moment basis.

The challenge is this.

• Be aware of what my response will be to events.
• Check it against what I would consider is the best possible response.
• Consider my filters and consider their validity in the situation
• Consider others

and by this time, enough time will have passed to overcome the habits of the past and my response will be closer to the right one than it otherwise would have been.

...just a thought !