Another Way of Looking At Happenings

I received an email just now from a close friend who is going through some tough times with her husband at the moment.

I read this e-mail to the background noise of 2 grand-daughters, being chased around the house by a proud grand-mother (my wife).

I peered into the room and saw my daughter smiling proudly at the 3 of them and then she looked at me and continued to smile.

And then I considered how I respond to everything in life and the effects that it has on others.

This is the content of the e-mail

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT, BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE CAR PARK BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.

FOR THE PILE OF WASHING AND IRONING BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD OR EXERCISING TO STAY FIT.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.

AND

FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. I JUST DID.

The moment caused me to look at the way people think, or have been programmed to think and respond to various events that happen in their lives, and I came to the conclusion (not the first to do this no doubt) that things will happen to us, both good and bad. Some are really good and some are really bad, but no matter what, they will happen.

We can influence what happens in our life, but we can't avoid them...at least not until we die; and even then....who knows.

The key to being able to live and experience a good life is not "things", "religion", being right", "being the best", "what I want" or any other type of thing you feel is the most important to you, but, in my opinion, it comes from the ability to respond to anything we experience in a realistic way.

To try and avoid as best we can, the negative filters that we place on everything (called life experiences) and not be so ready to call them the be all and end all of our perceptions.

There is always more than one way to look at things, and by considering another viewpoint, it makes it possible to enhance our experiences. This can in turn make our response to them quite different from what they would have otherwise been.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of these positive attitude people. I am still, a grumpy individual who has a tendency to react to events in the wrong way, has a bad attitude to many things and must be a RIGHT ROYAL PAIN IN THE ARSE to my family, and to a lesser extent my workmates but I am realising as I age, that this is not and never has been the way to go in life and hopefully, I can turn around everything I have been to make others lives more pleasant on a moment by moment basis.

The challenge is this.

• Be aware of what my response will be to events.
• Check it against what I would consider is the best possible response.
• Consider my filters and consider their validity in the situation
• Consider others

and by this time, enough time will have passed to overcome the habits of the past and my response will be closer to the right one than it otherwise would have been.

...just a thought !